02 March 2011

Women Deploy TOO!!!

Even after a good workout I'm still a little annoyed by something so obvious yet so ignored by the military as a whole that I knew earlier today that I was going to discuss it.

Women in the military deploy.

Now I know you are saying well freakin' duh. Where are you getting at?

My complaint is if you google anything on how to handle your personal life (relationships) to prepare for a deployment, it always goes back to female spouses dealing with male servicemembers.

I freakin' get that female spouses are the majority but seriously....NOT one article about how to talk to your male spouse or significant other about deploying??

Upon my search I found two upsetting articles on how females have a higher divorce rate than males in the military, even though it's pretty crude and I would slap the author if I saw them in the street...but they had a point.  We as women still today are looked at like we should be the ones at home ALL THE TIME, and the man should go off to war...it's just not normal....

Well the reality is this...
We ain't going anywhere...really. "Molly Marine Statue"
So why did this just pop in to my head you are wondering right about now....
Well I have a "significant other"....which is still hard for me to believe, since it has been quite difficult to maintain a relationship. I affectionately call him "Crown" because not only it's the meaning behind his name, but he also makes me feel like a Queen.


Anyways, he knows about my deployment of course, but he has been under the impression that I will be going for only 6 months...while now it could be up to a year. I honestly have no idea yet. I have told my family and friends to prepare for a year but I have not told him yet. In fact, I never intended to. I planned on telling him half way that I got "extended". Why did I plan on doing that? Fear of losing him I guess.
The reality is that it is most likely for a woman to stay committed to a guy for such a long deployment than it is for a man to. Now I'm not saying that there aren't some dirty skank skeezers out there, but let's be real with ourselves.
Women think that this is an investment and that if they stick my their man the guy will appreciate it and marry them.
Men freak the hell out and dwell on the length of time they will have to go without physical contact...aka "nookie".
Also what others fail to understand that men worry and have the same questions and fears about their girlfriends and spouses getting hurt or dying out there, but they go through those feelings differently and will not willingly seek help like women do. They get ignored because they are "men"--who expects them to stress out and be upset while their woman is gone??
Crown has been quite different though, he did initially freak out, but he has been so very supportive of me and it looks like he's going to stick around....
But I have no idea what is going to happen when I tell him about the year.

I blame my uncle who is a Army Vet, Korean War era, who told me about his first wife and how he hid stuff from her, thinking that it was protecting their relationship.
"...if you feel the need to hide anything from the one you care about, then maybe they aren't the right one for you...if he cares for you, then he will stay by you..."
Because I know that my uncle is the only one other than my mother that has always been right to me in giving me guidance, I will tell him everything.

But it just sucks that there is no step-by-step guidance for this situation...
So after this weekend I will make one, so that no one will feel as confused and scared as I do right now.
I hope my plan works...


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