20 June 2011

Late Night Musings...

This is going to be random, off the top of my head thoughts because I just don't have it in me to formulate something more professional looking I guess, so deal with it.

  • I don't even know how I feel anymore, I have literally went through the grieving process. I'm just on auto pilot to get through the day.
  • To survive the monotony I have still been going to the gym religiously, however I don't know if there are any positive results, except that I know I will never be in danger of looking bad at anything physically challenging again.
  • I'm going to get a personal trainer cert when I get back, just don't know which one...
  • I am finishing up on my college classes with A's so I can't wait to be able to send that up in my record...trying not to think about the promotion board but it's been hard. I'm just trying to stay positive about it and not dwell on it.
  • A Bachelor's looks really good on a resume' with 12 years of faithful service and 4 combat deployments...
  • I start more classes next month.
  • I started going to church, it helps...until some nasty loser tries to talk to me and almost causes me to do something un christianlike in God's house...bless them.
  • I still haven't gotten a relaxer and I don't think I will when I get back...I'm digging the waves. I need to finally embrace after all these years what people have made me hate myself for.  I'm learning more about my natural hair every day.
  • I miss my guy...is he still my guy? Such is the life of a Marine right?
  • I am so full of plans right now for when I get back, I'm just scared that I will fall into the procrastinating rut I was in prior to this "experience".
  • I still don't miss smoking, but I'm so scared about weight gain that if I miss a workout I'm mad at myself all day. I know it's insane. Oh well.
  • I'm sick of eating almost the exact same crap everyday. But at least I have semi-fresh crap and not hardly any crap like my guys that are out in the dirt.
  • I just want blue jeans, a semi offensive tee and my Chuck Taylors. That would be awesome.
  • I am going to burn these cammies when I get home...seriously, they will be unserviceable anyway so they will make a great starter to a little bonfire in my back yard. 
  • I miss my cat.
  • I maybe home before Halloween...
  • If not I may snap...
  • Who am I kidding, I half expect to be stuck here for two years only because that would be my luck, lol. 
  • Still a Sgt...well in actuality a scribe.
  • With a rifle that's way too big for me that ruined my fucking cammies that I will burn. 
  • I want real bacon.
  • I want a real hug, a kiss, some freakin' affection from someone that I miss that hasn't said since I left that they miss me.
  • I'm sadistic, can't you tell?
  • I need to leave work....wish this page would work at the can...crappy foreign Internet provider...
Yeah, told you it was a mess, and this is pretty much in my head the majority of the day, every day.  

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