17 January 2011

Only in Fairytales and Music Videos...

First of all, this is why Common is my favorite hip hop artist of all time. He looks as music as an art, not a way to be a thug or a womanizer. One of my favorite songs by this wonderful person is this song Come Close. I have always dreamed of having someone express what I mean to them in a way so beautiful and poetic. Because of recent events, I am slowly getting back in touch with repressed feelings that I completely forgot that I pushed away...one of those feelings is love.
Not just love for a man...I mean that true love for everything, for God, for life, for my friends and family.
I mean today I had to say goodbye to my cat Echo (my friend is taking care of her while I am deployed) and I started to cry, which startled me because I mean, it's just a freakin' cat!
But I love her, she is more than just a pet, she has been my comfort, fulfilling my desire to be needed, and I know that she loves me too. I have never left her for so long and now I understand when people say that pets are like children, I miss her so much already.
So yeah, what does the cat have to do with a love song?

Nothing. I just miss Echo. Moving on.
Tonight is the night for "the deployment/relationship" talk with my guy and I. I know how I feel, but he's the one that will have to be back here without me.
I have never been in this situation--either I went out there single purposely to not have to deal with stuff like this, and last time I had a boyfriend that deployed with me...and uh, yeah that worked out not in my favor at all.
So I'm scared, nervous...hoping for the best (unexpected) and already prepared for the worst.
But I will take into account what my momma says about situations like this:
"God places people in your life for a Season...they were not meant to be in your life forever, just a short time to guide you where you need to be. So don't be upset if you have to say goodbye. If they helped you make your life better then thank them then thank God."
So if this is the case....winter will forever be my most hated season ever...but I will still thank God for the time I had with him.

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